When you make the life-changing decision to undergo bariatric surgery, it affects those around you in a big way.
No one is more affected than your significant other, who can be a spouse, life partner, best friend, sibling or parent.
More often than not, as time passes, the people in your life will adjust to the ‘new you,’ but there will be a few bumps along the way.
Your significant other is the person with the most at stake for the change happening in your life. They love you, but they are also “losing” the version of you that they love. And the “new you” may be viewed by them as someone they don’t really know at all.
Relationship Dynamic Changes Following Significant Weight Loss
If your significant other has taken the lead in your relationship due to low self-esteem or physical restrictions due to your weight, that dynamic may equalize or even flip.
Over time, losing a significant amount of weight and garnering more vigor for life due to increased energy can open the door to several significant life changes — a better-paying job, different hobbies, new friends, or a new way of dressing or wearing your hair. Your spouse may be caught off guard by all these changes, especially if they take place in a short time frame.
Consider a support group
I recommend spouses and family members attend Bariatric Support Group meetings with you so they can get a clearer perspective of what you are experiencing during your weight loss. It affords them the chance to listen to others who have achieved goal weight and observe many of the changes and benefits firsthand.
Keep talking
Nearly 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, and weight loss surgery patients are not immune.
Mental health professionals say that strong relationships grow under stress, weak relationships grow apart or fail. Don’t hesitate to seek couple counseling even if things are going great from your point of view; your partner may be feeling stressed or confused and need an outlet to express his or her feelings about your life change.
A Little Patience is Needed While Loved Ones Adjust
I always tell bariatric clients that patience is probably the most useful tool they need post-op. Even with the speed of weight loss with a bariatric solution, it’s never feels fast enough. In addition, people around you can unknowingly say or do the wrong thing that may seem thoughtless or insensitive. We’re all human, we all say the wrong thing sometimes.
Stay gentle, stay engaged and stay in touch with your closest companion — and all your supporters. Time changes everything, and most difficulties will resolve themselves sooner than you think.
Remember, you are in the driver seat during your weight loss transformation, but your partner is also along for the ride.
About Dr. Seun Sowemimo, MD, FACS
Dr. Seun is a top NJ bariatric surgeon and the medical director at Prime Surgicare, with offices in Freehold serving Monmouth and Ocean counties. He is board-certified, Columbia and Yale University fellowship-trained in advanced laparoscopic, bariatric and general surgery.
To learn more, visit his YouTube channel or call Prime Surgicare at (732)-982-2002.